I need help!

 I couldn't sleep last night.....I was thinking about what my Aunty's sister in law's husband's brother's wife said some weeks ago..The truth is,I studied French so,maybe that's why am finding it difficult understanding her declaration.she said,"I will rather kill myself than commit suicide!"..I used to think committing suicide and killing one's self meant the same thing...i have been trying to analyse this sentence in different languages but I still don't get it!..Or did THEY change some meanings in the dictionary while I was busy studying French and German languages?..Someone please help me before I lose it..